So, tomorrow I will be seeing my shrink again.
I’ve been seeing my shrinking for more than 2 years or so and on a weekly basis, although there has been periods of time when I stopped seeing him due to my “relapse”. So here’s the question – is it time for me to stop seeing him?
I’ve tried to suggest to him more than a month ago, and his response was that I was not ready yet… and nope, I did not ask him what he meant by “not ready yet”.
Why am I so eager to stop my sessions with him? Well, it’s been so long and I don’t feel like to sessions are going anywhere. Sure, he listens to me and I learn something about myself whenever I meet with him. He also helps me to see things from different perspective. But we keep talking about similar topics and I find that tiring. It doesn’t seem like there has been any major breakthroughs. Like recently, he asked me again if I knew what made me go into depression…this was at area that we explored many months ago. Sometimes I feel like I am paying just for someone to listen to me.
I’ve been truly blessed that I do not have to pay for his service. The church that I work at is paying for it – $200 per hour and we would meet for about 1.5 hours or more sometimes. This means an average of (at least) $300 per week and that works out to about $1200 per month. That’s a lot of money! If I were to foot the bill on my own, I doubt I will be able to afford weekly sessions that last for 2 years. People tells me to be thankful for that. Yes, I am but yet at the same time, I can’t help but feel bad that the church has to spend so much money on me. I spoke to my wife about me wanting to spot seeing my shrink last night but she didn’t sound like she supported the idea at all although she said I couldn’t bring it up to my shrink and explore it with him.
While I want to stop my sessions with my shrink, I have my concerns too. What if I had a relapse? Would I get blamed for sabotaging my own recovery for ending my relationship with my shrink prematurely?
I am curious. I am curious to know many often do people meet with their shrink, and for how long. I tried to google but can’t seem to find any answers to my question.
In any case, I will explore with him again tomorrow. Perhaps I can work out a plan – to meet him less frequently to meeting him on an ad hoc basis or when I have a need. Let’s hope he understands where I am coming from and would not out-talk me into continuing my sessions with me because I am not ready yet.